Skin by: l0ve---
Image by: WY

Hello people !
this is my 1st time posting on this blog :D
i'm sindy here .
i'll be flying off the Australia in another 7hrs time !
pray that i will have a safe journey (:
i'll be having a competition on this upcoming saturday,
9am in the morning and 5pm at noon.
pray also that my friends and i will all do our best in this competition !
Thanks people !
Miss me :P

Experienced God @
12:32 PM
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Hi all, I finally found someone to post their sharing! Guess who?? It's our dear Richard....!! Then, when I approach him to post something here, he say he will write a 1000 words essay for me. I thought he was joking until... he send me his sharing. Wow.. looks like he really spent quite some time and effort in writing his sharing. Thanks, Richard.

Note that some of the sensitive words are masked. And for richard's sake, and just to play safe, i help him put a disclaimer: This post does not pinpoint to anyone in particular or to criticise anyone. It is just Richard's point of view and thoughts, so pls do not feel offended in any way. If you really feel so, pls approach richard himself (msn or email) or me (wingyan). Thanks, cheers and enjoy reading! ;)
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Hello everyone,

Maybe many of you know that I am experiencing some difficulties in China, and I wanna thank brothers and sisters who have shown their concern.

Many of you have asked me what’s going on. I’m facing something quite hard to comprehend. I don’t understand why I’m going through this, and I believe many people can’t accept it too. However it is really a learning experience and a big turning point for me. I was on the urge of losing everything, everything that I have valued. However it’s God’s love that pulled me back.

I believe no one of you knows this, but I do have suicidal thoughts before. Even though I have not gone to psychologist before, I think I do have mild depression. I’ll get depressed very easily and I’ll tend to get nervous and my heart beat will increase. I’ve tried doing things about it, choosing a very wrong method and have been running away from problems. Now it’s time I have to face it, to overcome it. I have really experience God, His love has embraced me and I finally know what love is.

I know this may sound weird, but honestly our church is not a place you’ll feel love easily. I’m not pinpointing people or critising someone, but honestly I always felt isolated in church. Sometimes I always don’t understand how I survive in church being critised about `my singing almost every week. I also don’t know what gave me the strength to continue standing on that stage singing when people below keep saying I sound horrible. I’m actually very open to opinions, but I just can’t stand it when most of the time I was told I sound horrible but when asked what I can do to improve, they just don’t know. So I’m sounding horrible without a reason, isn’t that ridiculous? Actually, one event keeps stirring in my mind for a very long time. I still remember there was a time that I scold Madeline until she cried, and everyone came to tell me I was wrong, I shouldn’t be so harsh. That time I really found it crazy, those that came to tell me, they have been doing the same thing to me endless time, so they found it wrong too. There was once I had enough and asked them they have been doing the same to me too, so is that wrong? I was actually told that because I can accept it, so it is alright. At that time I was really frustrated and I wished I didn’t know these people, they were so scary. I didn’t even know what they treat me as anymore. I was treated with no respect, no one even bothered caring about my feelings. I was like a clown, letting people build their happiness on my sorrow.

Maybe because I’ve grown up without my parents, I don’t know what is love and I crave for love. I guess that’s why I didn’t leave church despite all the humiliation. However I’ve seen people leaving the church or wanting to leave the church. For goodness sake, I’m not the only victim! The warning bell is ringing and it’s time we do something about it. Put a stop to the hurt we cause to our brothers and sisters, fill our church with love once again. Church is a place where love should blossom, not a place of gossip or making fun of others. It should be a place where you see others bigger than yourself, where everyone helps one another to grow in God’s Hands.

The Bible has actually taught us to love, it taught us what love is. Please go back to 1Corinthians 13, it teaches us what love should be. Actually the whole Bible is about love, how God loves us and how we should love others. One of the Ten Commandments is to love our neighbours as ourselves. Jesus has told disciples to love one another so that others can recognize us as His disciples. Because God is love, He has filled us with His love when we allowed Him inside our hearts, and He told us to share this love with others. Let’s learn to love and start loving our brothers and sisters.

I am not saying that I’ve done a good job loving brothers and sisters, I know I s**k at loving too. I’m not someone who knows how to care (maybe that’s why no one comes to share with me their problems), and I’ve created many messes too. I realize that I was wrong in the past too, and I really hope everyone can know what love really is. I really hope brothers and sisters can feel God’s love through us.

Honestly maybe many of you will think that I’m bulls***ting again, not that it hasn’t happened before. Yuen Mei once told me that others don’t listen to me because my ideas are too ideal, not possible to achieve. Is it really impossible to achieve, or is it that we are not willing to put in effort? Just like speaking English in church, is it impossible because we are born a Cantonese church, or is it because we are not doing enough? I know that learning to love is very hard, but it is not impossible. God has given us His love, and He told us to spread His love to the ends of the world. If it is impossible, God won’t ask us to do, and nothing is impossible in God’s eyes. I am glad that many of you are praying for me, and that’s love, so let’s work harder to make this love grow.

As for my problem, I’ll deal with it. With God’s help, I’ll be able to solve it. I can only say that it’s Satan’s lies and he is making me fall, but God pulled me back. He forgave me and asked me to repent. Because of His love, I’m saved, and I don’t wish to disappoint Him again. Thanks for your prayer, and do continue to pray for me. I’ll pray for you too, and I really hope that everyone including me can learn how to love, to love like God loves us.

God bless everyone
Richard

Experienced God @
11:45 AM
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